Hope you all enjoyed Earth Hour! I spent it relaxing on the couch with my better half. How did you spend yours?
On to today's regularly scheduled piece on compassionate parenting and how it relates to the real world. Today, we revisit the concept on gifts, and how the receiver holds a key part in successful gift giving of any type.
Contributing to the well-being of others is a fundamental need, for children as much as for you.
When parents recognize and receive the gifts children have to offer, they inspire children's natural desire to give.
Having an appropriate response to gifts is a very important habit and reaction tot each by example to both children and other adults in your life. If they see you respond positively and honestly to gifts and offerings, they are significantly more likely to try to emulate that reaction themselves. This is because experiencing the full extent of gift-giving lies not only in the ability to give a gift, but also in the reaction of the receiver.
When you are super excited about a gift that you either purchased or made for someone, that excitement can be severely dampened by their reaction. If they react negatively or neutrally, you may feel that you have done something wrong, or possibly even insulted them. This will affect your confidence when it comes to thinking of and giving gifts, as you may start to feel that your gifts are not good enough or that they are unwanted. Not a good feeling at all!
While we’re on the subject of gifts, keep in mind that not all gifts are tangible items that you can hold in your hands. The greatest gift that I received this Christmas was having a happy and positive experience with my family at our dinner on Boxing Day. This was provided by each and every one of my family members in attendance (and that amounts to over twenty people!) but it was a great experience, lots of fond memories, and good feelings all around. Children can gift non-tangible gifts every day, such as inviting you to help them, or telling you a story (either about their day or that they made up.)
My daughter LOVES to tell me stories about all sorts of things. Sometimes it’s about dreams that she has, and sometimes it’s about something fun that happened at school. When she is telling me a story, I do my best to listen in and involve myself into her story by asking questions about details and being fascinated by the imagination that her little 6-year-old brain showcases. I make sure that she understands and sees that I am very interested in what she is saying, and she enjoys telling me stories because of this. This is an example of a great gift that my child brings to my life, and I recognize and receive it by using actions to show her that I am thankful and happy to receive this gift.
It is all too easy to half-listen and not really take any interest in the small gifts that are given to you each and every day. But these gifts are essential to our emotional well-being as well as the well-being of those who are giving us these gifts. When we acknowledge and receive these gifts positively, they are more likely to continue to come in. This will not only make you as the receiver feel good, for being the honoured receiver of these gifts, but they will make the giver of the gifts feel both appreciated and listened to. And that is a feeling that does not erase itself easily.
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Compassionate Parenting - Specific Statements over Vague Vents
It is important to be specific about what you want from your child.
"Would you please pick up the game you left in the living room?" is specific and doable.
"Stop being such a slob" lets your child know what label you give his/her behavior. However, it doesn't give the information s/he can use to specifically meet your needs for order.
Giving children general statements and requests give them nothing to improve on. They won’t know what it is they’ve done wrong, or what they’ve done right. Blanket statements made in frustration or under duress can make the situation worse. They won’t understand what the problem is, or how to fix it. Children, like adults, don’t like to be a source of disappointment and generally want to see those around them in positive spirits. This is difficult if they don’t know what is causing the stress or frustration, or how to improve the situation.
Consider you are at work and your supervisor tells you that you do sloppy work. How do you feel? Do you know what needs to be improved on, or do you feel personally attacked by the words? When you use non-specific criticism, the receiver will often take it as a personal attack, and that can lead to lowered self-confidence and feelings of insufficiency. Consider instead that your supervisor tells you that your filing system is difficult to understand and he or she has a hard time finding files that you have put away. Now you know what the problem is and how it’s affecting those you are working with. You have something specific that needs improvement, and you will be able to take specific steps to improve the situation.
Open and honest communication is an essential part of having a productive and beneficial relationship with those around you, and using non-specific attacks to vent your frustration will only lead to further negativity. Opt instead to speak positively and specifically about things that bother you or that you think need adjustment.
If your child is constantly leaving their toys out where you step on them or kick them accidentally, sit them down and inform them that their toys are going to get broken and end up in the garbage if they continue to leave them out. Explain that leaving toys out leads to them getting kicked under couches, or stepped on, which leads to them being lost or broken. This will let them know that there is a direct natural consequence to leaving their belongings out on the floor, as well as informing them that it is dangerous for those who use the area.
Taking the time to be specific about your complaints instead of tossing out broad, general, and sometimes harsh complaints will lead to improved communication in your daily interactions and more open relationships with those around you. People will feel more able to talk to you without worrying about being bombarded with harsh personal attacks or non-specific venting that they may take personally. They will be able to take you at your word, and be able to understand what you are trying to tell them. They will also be more likely to improve their own communication skills as they will mimic that which affects them positively.
You are the master of your own words, so make each and every one of them count towards improving your situation, and by default the situation of those around you. Positive, effective communication is possible, one conversation at a time.
"Would you please pick up the game you left in the living room?" is specific and doable.
"Stop being such a slob" lets your child know what label you give his/her behavior. However, it doesn't give the information s/he can use to specifically meet your needs for order.
Giving children general statements and requests give them nothing to improve on. They won’t know what it is they’ve done wrong, or what they’ve done right. Blanket statements made in frustration or under duress can make the situation worse. They won’t understand what the problem is, or how to fix it. Children, like adults, don’t like to be a source of disappointment and generally want to see those around them in positive spirits. This is difficult if they don’t know what is causing the stress or frustration, or how to improve the situation.
Consider you are at work and your supervisor tells you that you do sloppy work. How do you feel? Do you know what needs to be improved on, or do you feel personally attacked by the words? When you use non-specific criticism, the receiver will often take it as a personal attack, and that can lead to lowered self-confidence and feelings of insufficiency. Consider instead that your supervisor tells you that your filing system is difficult to understand and he or she has a hard time finding files that you have put away. Now you know what the problem is and how it’s affecting those you are working with. You have something specific that needs improvement, and you will be able to take specific steps to improve the situation.
Open and honest communication is an essential part of having a productive and beneficial relationship with those around you, and using non-specific attacks to vent your frustration will only lead to further negativity. Opt instead to speak positively and specifically about things that bother you or that you think need adjustment.
If your child is constantly leaving their toys out where you step on them or kick them accidentally, sit them down and inform them that their toys are going to get broken and end up in the garbage if they continue to leave them out. Explain that leaving toys out leads to them getting kicked under couches, or stepped on, which leads to them being lost or broken. This will let them know that there is a direct natural consequence to leaving their belongings out on the floor, as well as informing them that it is dangerous for those who use the area.
Taking the time to be specific about your complaints instead of tossing out broad, general, and sometimes harsh complaints will lead to improved communication in your daily interactions and more open relationships with those around you. People will feel more able to talk to you without worrying about being bombarded with harsh personal attacks or non-specific venting that they may take personally. They will be able to take you at your word, and be able to understand what you are trying to tell them. They will also be more likely to improve their own communication skills as they will mimic that which affects them positively.
You are the master of your own words, so make each and every one of them count towards improving your situation, and by default the situation of those around you. Positive, effective communication is possible, one conversation at a time.
4 easy ways your child can be eco-friendly too
Today's post is a guest post by Tara Miller, a fellow writer who enjoys writing on a variety of subjects, particularly on the subject of psychology. This post is about helping your kids to learn how to become earth-friendly in an age-appropriate way. If you enjoy what you read here, send her an email using her email address below or feel free to leave a comment! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy!
Small children can't purchase organic foods or energy efficient appliances. They can't swap out the furnace filter or take a quick trip over to the recycling mill on their own. But they can do other simple eco-friendly tasks around the house and community that can help them sustain the environment. Instilling these following green practices at a very young age will undoubtedly help them on their way to becoming environmentally-conscious and energy conserving young adults.
Switch the Lights Off. As a parent, it's important that the first thing you teach your child is the importance of conserving electricity. Explain to them that leaving on a light when they are not in the room will not only drain your wallet, but it will also encourage the depletion of the earth's resources as well. It's equally important that you explain to your child that leaving appliances or cords plugged in an electrical outlet when it is not in use is also draining power—so unplugging video gaming systems, the computer and cell phone chargers when they are not using them is a must. To help get started them and to make this a habitual thing, why not turning it into some kind of game? Challenge your child to unplug all the appliances that are not being used and reward them with something small if they do a good job—just make sure you warn them to steer clear of the refrigerator and other appliances that need to be on at all times.
Conserving Water. Small children can also do wonders for the environment simply by decreasing their water usages. One of the more common things that children (and adults) do is let the water run while brushing their teeth or lather up soap to wash their face. Instead, encourage your child to only use the water to wet his or her tooth brush and then when he or she needs to rinse out his or her mouth.
To stress the importance, you could always explain that by letting the water run non-stop, an innocent fish or turtle may be drained of the water supply it needs to survive. Or, you can let them watch this short video named "Don't leave the water running". Equally important, you want to try and encourage your child to take showers rather than baths since showers use less water. But you might also want to tell them that singing in the shower and doing other activities in the shower while the water is running (playing with toys for example) is also wasting water.
Walk, Bike, Take the Bus or Carpool. How your child gets to school is usually up to the discretion of the parent, but if the school is close enough why don't you encourage your child to walk or take a bicycle to school? If your child is too young, you can make it a family ordeal and walk or ride your bike to school all together. Using this mode of transportation will heavily decrease the levels of carbon released into the atmosphere—even if your child walks to school only a few days out of the week. Taking the school bus or organizing a carpool can be equally as effective at reducing smog—it'll save you a bundle on gas money too.
Recycle Together. Lastly, if you recycle allow your child to participate. Small children love being included in everything from cooking, washing the car to yes, even recycling. Allow them to help by sorting the different materials and explaining why we recycle in the first place. This one should be a breeze since even someone as young as 5 years-old knows how to identify a can made for plastic bottles from the one made for paper.
This guest contribution was submitted by Tara Miller, who particularly enjoys writing about psychology degrees. She welcomes your comments and can be reached at: miller.tara23@gmail.com.
Small children can't purchase organic foods or energy efficient appliances. They can't swap out the furnace filter or take a quick trip over to the recycling mill on their own. But they can do other simple eco-friendly tasks around the house and community that can help them sustain the environment. Instilling these following green practices at a very young age will undoubtedly help them on their way to becoming environmentally-conscious and energy conserving young adults.
Switch the Lights Off. As a parent, it's important that the first thing you teach your child is the importance of conserving electricity. Explain to them that leaving on a light when they are not in the room will not only drain your wallet, but it will also encourage the depletion of the earth's resources as well. It's equally important that you explain to your child that leaving appliances or cords plugged in an electrical outlet when it is not in use is also draining power—so unplugging video gaming systems, the computer and cell phone chargers when they are not using them is a must. To help get started them and to make this a habitual thing, why not turning it into some kind of game? Challenge your child to unplug all the appliances that are not being used and reward them with something small if they do a good job—just make sure you warn them to steer clear of the refrigerator and other appliances that need to be on at all times.
Conserving Water. Small children can also do wonders for the environment simply by decreasing their water usages. One of the more common things that children (and adults) do is let the water run while brushing their teeth or lather up soap to wash their face. Instead, encourage your child to only use the water to wet his or her tooth brush and then when he or she needs to rinse out his or her mouth.
To stress the importance, you could always explain that by letting the water run non-stop, an innocent fish or turtle may be drained of the water supply it needs to survive. Or, you can let them watch this short video named "Don't leave the water running". Equally important, you want to try and encourage your child to take showers rather than baths since showers use less water. But you might also want to tell them that singing in the shower and doing other activities in the shower while the water is running (playing with toys for example) is also wasting water.
Walk, Bike, Take the Bus or Carpool. How your child gets to school is usually up to the discretion of the parent, but if the school is close enough why don't you encourage your child to walk or take a bicycle to school? If your child is too young, you can make it a family ordeal and walk or ride your bike to school all together. Using this mode of transportation will heavily decrease the levels of carbon released into the atmosphere—even if your child walks to school only a few days out of the week. Taking the school bus or organizing a carpool can be equally as effective at reducing smog—it'll save you a bundle on gas money too.
Recycle Together. Lastly, if you recycle allow your child to participate. Small children love being included in everything from cooking, washing the car to yes, even recycling. Allow them to help by sorting the different materials and explaining why we recycle in the first place. This one should be a breeze since even someone as young as 5 years-old knows how to identify a can made for plastic bottles from the one made for paper.
This guest contribution was submitted by Tara Miller, who particularly enjoys writing about psychology degrees. She welcomes your comments and can be reached at: miller.tara23@gmail.com.
Compassionate Parenting: Listen and understand
Children, like all of us, need to be heard and understood.
Next time you hear yourself telling your child how s/he should be feeling or what s/he should be thinking or doing, stop and listen to what your child has to say.
When you go through life and come across something challenging or emotionally provoking, do you find it helpful when those around you try to tell you how to get through it? Say you just had a child, and people come up to you while you’re out for a walk with your baby and start telling you to breastfeed/not to breastfeed, to swaddle them/not to swaddle them, to feed on demand/to feed on a schedule. How do you react?
Each person will experience their lives in a different way. The way that I decide to solve a problem, or grieve loss, will be different from the way my neighbour, mother, aunt, coworker deal with that same situation. There is no one right way to deal with a situation, whether positive or negative.
What there is in each situation is the opportunity to learn more about yourself. Take any situation, a promotion or a layoff, child birth or miscarriage, good meal or gross meal, and there is something that you can learn in how to deal with similar situations in the future.
So telling a child that they ‘shouldn’t be upset’ because they fell and hurt their feelings/bum/knees will not help them learn how to deal with the next fall they experience. Saying that your son/daughter ‘should be happy’ that daycare is over because they get to come home will not make it easier for them to cope with that separation.
Telling people how to think repeatedly, especially as they are just developing problem-solving skills and analytical thinking, will be more of a detriment to them, because they will not learn that they can have faith in their own emotions. They will depend on others to tell them how to feel about every little thing.
Instead of telling other how to feel, or how you would feel in that situation, start asking them how they feel. Listen to what they say, and try to see things from their perspective. Forcing your thoughts and opinions onto them when they're going through a time of change, be it positive or negative, is a surefire way to alienate them when what they need is someone close.
When you go through a hard time, or a big change, or just a disappointment, you don't want to hear from others who will tell you how you should be feeling. You will likely want someone to listen to you and to hear what you're saying. To provide beneficial input that incorporates what you feel as well as how they would deal with it in your situation. But your feelings and emotions and fears need to be validated.
Each and every one of us as humans have an inate need and want to be heard and understood. To be able to talk and have others actually listen to what we have to say. Children are no exception, and neither is the cranky woman next door (or grumpy uncle, or crabby cashier). They all want to have their worries, thoughts, emotions, and happinesses heard and understood.
What you send out will come back to you, so when you're waiting in line at the grocery store, or you run into your cranky neighbour, or your child is having a fit, stop and listen to what they actually have to say. You may be amazed at what they say, you may even be able to do something right then and there to help them out.
All it takes is for you to stop and listen. The rest will come naturally.
Saturday Morning Fun!
So this morning we're babysitting Z, as we do every other Saturday. After breakfast, we decided it would be fun to finally get outside and play on those huge hills the snowplows created around the parking lot. It was a blast!
I actually threw on a pair of snowpants and got right in there, got a sweet workout and felt the burn let me tell you! Climbing to the top of the hill proved harder than I had originally thought, but it made it even more satisfying when the two kids would climb up and I would roll them back down the hill. They laughed so hard!
The two of them kept trying to knock me over to no avail, so M decided that it would be her job to take me down. She tied the dog to a tree, and then climbed up and tried to knock me over. I saw her coming though, so I braced myself and grabbed her as the got to the top, and brought her down with me! Success!
All in all, what a blast! It was so much fun, and man am I tired! We're planning on going out again after lunchtime, to toboggan this time, and I can't wait.
Have you done anything outside yet this weekend? What are you waiting for?
Peace and serenity,
Laura
I actually threw on a pair of snowpants and got right in there, got a sweet workout and felt the burn let me tell you! Climbing to the top of the hill proved harder than I had originally thought, but it made it even more satisfying when the two kids would climb up and I would roll them back down the hill. They laughed so hard!
The two of them kept trying to knock me over to no avail, so M decided that it would be her job to take me down. She tied the dog to a tree, and then climbed up and tried to knock me over. I saw her coming though, so I braced myself and grabbed her as the got to the top, and brought her down with me! Success!
All in all, what a blast! It was so much fun, and man am I tired! We're planning on going out again after lunchtime, to toboggan this time, and I can't wait.
Have you done anything outside yet this weekend? What are you waiting for?
Peace and serenity,
Laura
Compassionate Parenting: Needs Explained - Celebration
Celebration: to rejoice in or have special festivities to mark a special day. To observe or commemorate with ceremonies.
By being able to celebrate and commemorate large or moving events in our own way, we learn to sort out and validate our own emotions. Rejoicing in the larger occasions and instances of life make them more memorable and they can help to create smaller celebrations.
Large celebrations
The larger celebrations, such as birthdays, baby showers, bridal showers, bachelor parties, etc, create a fun and somewhat spontaneous atmosphere that helps people to relax and accept things beyond their normal routine.
Celebrating birth, birthdays, Christmas or other holidays, is a great way not only to commune with others who is also a large part of the celebration, but a wonderful way for to feel like a part of something more.
Celebrating the passing of a loved one, be it a family member, friend, or beloved pet, can also assist in the healing process. Being able to freely grieve a personal loss, or even an impersonal loss, in an individualised way can make it easier to rationalize emotions and remember the memories more fondly.
Small celebrations
Smaller celebrations can be anything that isn’t lifestyle changing, or has a very small affect on lifestyle. For example, celebrating the completion of a short story’s final draft, or being able to out-drink friends at the bar. It can even consist of smaller victories than that, such as eating a healthy meal or writing a journal entry.
Anything that marks a pebble on the path to achieving a goal, no matter how small, should be celebrated.
Celebrations do not require going out and getting hammered, or even buying a chocolate bar or trinkets. A celebration can simply be to do a little happy dance (see the lotto 649 happy dance) or doing something that normally would be saved for a larger success. Each and every success in life, and even the failures on the path to success, should be celebrated and rejoiced in
Celebration and personal freedom
The act of celebrating, for either a small or large event, allows for some personal freedom and also opens the door for conversation. It also offers the personal choice on how the event affects each person’s present and future.
Celebrating the known aspects of life, such as birth and death, allows each person to accept the unavoidable with a more pleasant and positive attitude. To accept change and celebrate it increases and solidifies the quality of self-talk as well as the level of self-worth that each person has.
Create the silver lining for each dark cloud, and they will seem more void of despair and hopelessness. Consciously choose the response to life and its events based on what type of outcome is desired.
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Enjoy the Compassionate Parenting series? Click the link for a full list from the series.
Compassionate Parenting: Needs Explained - Autonomy
Autonomy: Independence
Based on this definition, it is a fairly important emotional need that may not even be recognized as a need. The ability and willingness to have and exert personal actions or choices creates the feeling of independence.
A child who is not given any freedoms and is expected to fully conform will have no real understanding of their own ability to make decisions. As the child becomes a teenager, they will be thrust into a world where they must make their own decisions and are expected to be able to make educated choices. If this child has not learned through action how to make educated decisions, and then how to act upon them, how can that child be expected to succeed?
Assisted autonomy in other adults
Allow those around you to make their own decisions and choose their own methods for their actions and behaviours. Trust in them to make decisions, and if that doesn’t end well ensure that the issues that arose are discussed. That way they learn from the experience and will be more capable of making an informed choice the next time it comes up.
By discussing the issues that arise when complications with someone else’s, or your own, decision, you open the door for constructive assistance and avoid judgment. The other person will be more capable of trusting your judgment and will be less afraid to make mistakes knowing that someone will be there to help them.
Assisted autonomy in children
In a child, the ability to have a choice in a matter is of utmost importance. They relish in being able to choose between wearing the red or green shirt, in being able to decide if they want cheese or no cheese in their sandwich, in being able to decide to help mom with the laundry.
They may not make the choice you would have made. Maybe you would have chosen the red shirt, but they want to wear the green one. Regardless of whether or not it clashes with their pants, that shirt is the one they chose. If you take back your word now and tell them they must wear the red shirt, they will feel defeated and helpless. The child may feel that their choice was not good enough, or that they are unworthy of making their own decisions.
Once the child makes their choice, let them follow it through. If it doesn’t end well, don’t be there just to shake your finger and tell them “I told you so” because that will not help them. If it doesn’t end well, be there to tell them that it is okay to make mistakes, and that it is okay to try something different. Because it is okay to make mistakes and try something different. That is how we as humans learn.
Small victories lead to bigger goals
The faith in oneself to make a decision, see it through, and then assess the results will invariably lead to the faith to then make bigger decisions. Bigger decisions that can be goals, either short- or long-term, that are essential to testing ones own limits and deepening the sense of self-confidence and self-trust.
The capability to create realistic goals that bolster and solidify self-confidence comes in having the confidence to make decisions. If a person can not honestly believe in themselves to make smaller decisions that will not affect their current lifestyle or future, how can they be expected to have the confidence to make goals or have dreams that can affect their current lifestyle or future?
Creating goals and having dreams is also essential to developing strong and positive personal and ethical values. Sticking to values if you have no confidence in your own choices and decisions can be virtually impossible, and can destroy the feeling of integrity. It is a downward spiral that can easily be stopped in childhood, and challenging but possible to stop into adulthood.
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Enjoy the Compassionate Parenting series? Click the link for a full list from the series.
Last night's Christmas concert
My daughter's Christmas concert at her daycare was last night. It was amazing. This is the third one she has been a part of, and the third one I have attended. She was so excited for this night to come for around two weeks!
First it opened up with all the kids (all 82 of them!) together and they sang Away in a Manger. It was well done, the kids had full arm movements, and they did a great job!
Next up was the toddlers, who didn't really seem overly interested in being there, most of them just stood there and stared. They ‘performed’ Jingle Bells, and by performed, I mean they were holding bells and shaking them while the daycare teachers sang the song. Much to be expected, it was probably all of those kids' first time being in front of all those people.
Preschoolers took the stage next, and they were a little bit more into it. They did a rewrite of The Wheels on the Bus that was attuned for Christmas time. There were a few who were really belting it out and grooving, and a couple that just stood there defiantly. Good on them all for getting up there and doing their thing.
Kindergarteners were up next, and pretty much all of them took part and participated. They did the Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas Song (I’m sure you know it!) and there was one other song but it is slipping my mind right now. This is where E was last year and this is where the little boy we babysit, Z, was this year.
Finally, the school-aged kids! The grade one kids did a rendition/rewrite of Jingle Bells that related to school (Ring the bells). It was very cute, and very well done. They all stood up there (including E!) and just sang their little hearts out. Next all of the school-aged kids (I believe the oldest is around 9 or 10) sang a version of the 12 Days of Christmas. It was from a kid’s perspective, so none of this partridge in a pear tree junk. It was a 'brand new game for my Wii' etcetera.
All in all it was a great time. E had a blast, and played with a bunch of her friends. A lot of the children were running around screaming, recklessly. It made me kind of sad that their parents didn't really care that they were disturbing other people. But E sat and ate nicely with her friends K and M and the other two girls (K and M) were fun to be with. M also decided I was a jungle gym, and literally climbed up onto my shoulders. Luckily she's only 3, so she wasn't that heavy. I was pretty impressed at her climbing skills!
It was a fun night, an eventful night, and good food was shared.
What happy Christmas memories have you created so far?
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
First it opened up with all the kids (all 82 of them!) together and they sang Away in a Manger. It was well done, the kids had full arm movements, and they did a great job!
Next up was the toddlers, who didn't really seem overly interested in being there, most of them just stood there and stared. They ‘performed’ Jingle Bells, and by performed, I mean they were holding bells and shaking them while the daycare teachers sang the song. Much to be expected, it was probably all of those kids' first time being in front of all those people.
Preschoolers took the stage next, and they were a little bit more into it. They did a rewrite of The Wheels on the Bus that was attuned for Christmas time. There were a few who were really belting it out and grooving, and a couple that just stood there defiantly. Good on them all for getting up there and doing their thing.
Kindergarteners were up next, and pretty much all of them took part and participated. They did the Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas Song (I’m sure you know it!) and there was one other song but it is slipping my mind right now. This is where E was last year and this is where the little boy we babysit, Z, was this year.
Finally, the school-aged kids! The grade one kids did a rendition/rewrite of Jingle Bells that related to school (Ring the bells). It was very cute, and very well done. They all stood up there (including E!) and just sang their little hearts out. Next all of the school-aged kids (I believe the oldest is around 9 or 10) sang a version of the 12 Days of Christmas. It was from a kid’s perspective, so none of this partridge in a pear tree junk. It was a 'brand new game for my Wii' etcetera.
All in all it was a great time. E had a blast, and played with a bunch of her friends. A lot of the children were running around screaming, recklessly. It made me kind of sad that their parents didn't really care that they were disturbing other people. But E sat and ate nicely with her friends K and M and the other two girls (K and M) were fun to be with. M also decided I was a jungle gym, and literally climbed up onto my shoulders. Luckily she's only 3, so she wasn't that heavy. I was pretty impressed at her climbing skills!
It was a fun night, an eventful night, and good food was shared.
What happy Christmas memories have you created so far?
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Things my kid says: Plastic is bad for the environment
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| Dressed up in hand-me-down clothes, so cute! |
To which she replied, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world,
"I do like dolls, but they're made of plastic and that's bad for the environment."
Powerful stuff, I'm very proud of her. I have never once told her that her dolls were cheap plastic from foreign countries, or that they were made of a material that takes tens of thousands of years to decompose.
She recently began learning about materials, and what things are made of. So we were talking about it at home about a week ago, and she asked what plastic was. I told her [paraphrased] that plastic was made of oil and is bad for the environment. I told her that it kills animals if they eat it and that it is taking over the ocean.
She thought on that for a few moments, somberly, and then looked at me and asked, "what is made of plastic?" I told her, many things are made of plastic, and M and I make the choice not to buy them as much as possible.
She seemed content with that.
She put together on her own that her dolls were made of plastic and that she didn't want any new ones.
I am so proud of her. She can form independant thought and deduct information from many sources. I have never lied to her about where things come from, and she understands as much as she can about where her food and clothing comes from. Each time she asks me a question, I provide her an honest, age-appropriate answer.
Some might think that my answers are not age-appropriate, but I think that I know my daughter and her level of understanding better than pretty much everyone else. I know I can be candid and honest with her, and I know that if I take my time to explain new things, she will understand them.
She knows that she can ask me just about anything and I will give her an answer.
That is something I am proud of, and will continue to be proud of.
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Monday Musing: Gifts
What does Christmas mean to you? That is what today's musing is all about. I confess, I do celebrate Christian holidays. It's the way I was raised, and my family is centred about them. I believe most of them are Christian, though I'm not sure that they actually go to church... anyways, I digress.
Christmas, to me, is about family. It's about spending time with loved ones and sharing a meal. Full of meaningful discussion, yes. Occasional personal attacks that were not intentioned to be hurtful, absolutely. That is only part of what makes my family so exceptional.
There is one thing that I don't agree with them on, at least as it relates to the Christmas-gift-giving-ness. That is, children under 18 get gifts no matter what. Teens/adults/etc above 18 get something if something happens to catch someone's eye.
Why do I not agree with this? Kids get enough crap. That's why. Children and tweens and teens almost always get more crap/stuff/junk/paraphernalia than they will ever have use for. Most of which is fad-based or advertisement-based.
I will let you in on a secret... I didn't buy any of my younger cousins any gifts this year. I bought a little something for each adult though. Why? Because they are just as important as their children, and yet they are left out year after year in lieu of garbage gifts for their children. (Disclaimer: if any of my family members reads this, not all of the gifts are garbage... but some of them are)
When kids get everything they ask for, and other assorted advertised big name junk... they expect it next time. They don't respect the meaning behind the gifts, or the thought that goes into them.
Now, I may be making my cousins sound like spoiled little brats. They aren't, at least not all the time. Every kid acts like a brat sometimes, and I was no exception. But feeding that attitude will only make it worse. So when you're buying for younger children, you don't have to skimp or give them gifts they won't enjoy just because they're 'eco-friendly'.
But buy something that they will enjoy, something that will force them to want to use their brain but keep them interested at the same time. If you're not sure what that is, talk to them. Ask them what they like. Then ask why they like it, or what kinds of games they can play with it. If it's a doll, ask them how they see that doll and what kinds of scenes can they imagine the doll in.
Dig deeper and you will provide more meaningful gifts.
Handmade cards with thoughtful words in them always help. Cards just get chucked the week after Christmas by most people anyways, put some thought into them and at least the thought will be remembered.
Peace and serenity
Simply Me
Enjoy the Monday Musing series? Here's the rest of the posts:
Gardens
Happy thoughts
Automatic negative reactions
Thanksgiving
Sustainable eating
Contentment
Crutch or reason?
Work
Christmas, to me, is about family. It's about spending time with loved ones and sharing a meal. Full of meaningful discussion, yes. Occasional personal attacks that were not intentioned to be hurtful, absolutely. That is only part of what makes my family so exceptional.
There is one thing that I don't agree with them on, at least as it relates to the Christmas-gift-giving-ness. That is, children under 18 get gifts no matter what. Teens/adults/etc above 18 get something if something happens to catch someone's eye.
Why do I not agree with this? Kids get enough crap. That's why. Children and tweens and teens almost always get more crap/stuff/junk/paraphernalia than they will ever have use for. Most of which is fad-based or advertisement-based.
I will let you in on a secret... I didn't buy any of my younger cousins any gifts this year. I bought a little something for each adult though. Why? Because they are just as important as their children, and yet they are left out year after year in lieu of garbage gifts for their children. (Disclaimer: if any of my family members reads this, not all of the gifts are garbage... but some of them are)
When kids get everything they ask for, and other assorted advertised big name junk... they expect it next time. They don't respect the meaning behind the gifts, or the thought that goes into them.
Now, I may be making my cousins sound like spoiled little brats. They aren't, at least not all the time. Every kid acts like a brat sometimes, and I was no exception. But feeding that attitude will only make it worse. So when you're buying for younger children, you don't have to skimp or give them gifts they won't enjoy just because they're 'eco-friendly'.
But buy something that they will enjoy, something that will force them to want to use their brain but keep them interested at the same time. If you're not sure what that is, talk to them. Ask them what they like. Then ask why they like it, or what kinds of games they can play with it. If it's a doll, ask them how they see that doll and what kinds of scenes can they imagine the doll in.
Dig deeper and you will provide more meaningful gifts.
Handmade cards with thoughtful words in them always help. Cards just get chucked the week after Christmas by most people anyways, put some thought into them and at least the thought will be remembered.
Peace and serenity
Simply Me
Enjoy the Monday Musing series? Here's the rest of the posts:
Gardens
Happy thoughts
Automatic negative reactions
Thanksgiving
Sustainable eating
Contentment
Crutch or reason?
Work
Compassionate Parenting: Meeting needs - Part 2
When your needs are met it is easier to meet your child's needs, too.
What needs -- yours and your child's -- aren't currently being met as well as you would like?
Make a list of doable, inexpensive strategies that could fulfill each of these needs, and this week do at least one thing to meet each of them.
From my e-mail subscription to NonViolentCommunication.com
Having kids around you can be draining physically and emotionally. When you don't look after your own needs to ensure that you are prepared for your day, it can take a huge toll on you and, by proxy, your child.
When you are getting ready for your day, and you know you will be interacting with a variety of people, you need to ensure that your own personal needs are met. If they aren't, it can adversely affect your relationships and your mental health.
Personal needs, in summary, are the following:
The negative repercussions of meeting your own needs are numerous, not to mention the effect it will have on those around you. Each day, work towards actively and consciously meeting at least one of those needs.
Examples can be endless.
For integrity, create something beautiful to you, be it artwork or a website or even a catch phrase. Anything that you create that means a lot to you. You don't have to share it with anyone else, this is for yourself.
For spiritual communion, if you aren't religious, could be going for a walk in the crisp beautiful autumn air and embracing the beautiful and pure state of nature.
The list could go on.
What are ways you could meet your needs? Come up with some unique ones, and please share them!
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Enjoy the Compassionate Parenting series? Click the link for a full list from the series.
What needs -- yours and your child's -- aren't currently being met as well as you would like?
Make a list of doable, inexpensive strategies that could fulfill each of these needs, and this week do at least one thing to meet each of them.
From my e-mail subscription to NonViolentCommunication.com
Having kids around you can be draining physically and emotionally. When you don't look after your own needs to ensure that you are prepared for your day, it can take a huge toll on you and, by proxy, your child.
When you are getting ready for your day, and you know you will be interacting with a variety of people, you need to ensure that your own personal needs are met. If they aren't, it can adversely affect your relationships and your mental health.
Personal needs, in summary, are the following:
 |
| Found on the NonViolentCommunication.com website |
The negative repercussions of meeting your own needs are numerous, not to mention the effect it will have on those around you. Each day, work towards actively and consciously meeting at least one of those needs.
Examples can be endless.
For integrity, create something beautiful to you, be it artwork or a website or even a catch phrase. Anything that you create that means a lot to you. You don't have to share it with anyone else, this is for yourself.
For spiritual communion, if you aren't religious, could be going for a walk in the crisp beautiful autumn air and embracing the beautiful and pure state of nature.
The list could go on.
What are ways you could meet your needs? Come up with some unique ones, and please share them!
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Enjoy the Compassionate Parenting series? Click the link for a full list from the series.
Compassionate Parenting: Meeting needs - Part 1
All people (that includes you and your kids) are always doing their best to meet their needs.
Think of an incident with your child that didn't go well. What did your child do? What need was s/he trying to meet? What did you do? What need were you trying to meet by doing what you did?
Quote is from my e-mail subscription to NonViolentCommunication.com
This week focuses on meeting needs. Misbehaviour in children is oftentimes just a way for them to express themselves. They don't understand societal or personal rules because they just haven't experienced them often enough. Not to mention that people often do not take the time to explain any rules to children, they just say "because I said so" and call it good.
Because I said so is the WORST excuse you can use to get your child to respect your rules and decisions. It shows that you don't have a valid reason, or that you don't respect them enough to explain anything to them. Children are "why" machines. They need to know why something is important. How can they make their own assumptions and inflections on rules and pressures if they don't actually understand them?
Not meeting needs and expecting others to fall to their feet to meet yours is something that people learn and do right into adulthood. Is it fair to others to not listen to their own needs while expecting yours to be fulfilled? Can you think of a poor experience recently with another person that ended badly? I'm sure it has happened, no matter how compassionate you are, everyone makes mistakes.
Remember that others have needs to, so try to meet in the middle.
Here is something that happened the other day with my family. My wife (W), daughter (Em), and a kid we babysit (Z).
W and I were heading out the door to pick up the kids and grab some groceries we needed for dinner. It was an emergency grocery run, as we hadn't made it to the store earlier in the week to pick up our usual fruits and vegetables. W asked me if I wanted to get dropped off at the daycare then walk home, and she would go to the store and get the groceries. I decided that we should all go along, in hindsight a poor decision. Em and Z were very excited and energetic, and were not listening at all. They were hitting the price signs and running all over, nearly running into other shoppers all the while. I tried many times to explain to them that what they were doing was unacceptable, and they needed to calm down. They didn't. We finally made it to the cashier and finished our shopping. On our way out the door, W snapped at the kids because she had enough, they were being disrespectful to both W and I, and it was enough. Harsh words were said, and the behaviour did not change all that much. We finally made it home, and W decided that she had a long enough day (she had a very rough day at work) and that she was going to lie down for a bit.
So, what needs was Em trying to meet (and Z, for that matter)?
Do you have an example of an incident (either with another adult or a child) that didn't go well? Analyze it. Break it down. Figure out what possible sources of issues were, and see if you can create a compromise. Just because that one situation has passed doesn't mean that there won't be more that may arise. Deal with it ahead of time, and predict issues.
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
(this post is a part of November's blog carnival against child abuse)
Enjoy the Compassionate Parenting series? Click the link for a full list from the series.
Think of an incident with your child that didn't go well. What did your child do? What need was s/he trying to meet? What did you do? What need were you trying to meet by doing what you did?
Quote is from my e-mail subscription to NonViolentCommunication.com
This week focuses on meeting needs. Misbehaviour in children is oftentimes just a way for them to express themselves. They don't understand societal or personal rules because they just haven't experienced them often enough. Not to mention that people often do not take the time to explain any rules to children, they just say "because I said so" and call it good.
Because I said so is the WORST excuse you can use to get your child to respect your rules and decisions. It shows that you don't have a valid reason, or that you don't respect them enough to explain anything to them. Children are "why" machines. They need to know why something is important. How can they make their own assumptions and inflections on rules and pressures if they don't actually understand them?
Not meeting needs and expecting others to fall to their feet to meet yours is something that people learn and do right into adulthood. Is it fair to others to not listen to their own needs while expecting yours to be fulfilled? Can you think of a poor experience recently with another person that ended badly? I'm sure it has happened, no matter how compassionate you are, everyone makes mistakes.
Remember that others have needs to, so try to meet in the middle.
Here is something that happened the other day with my family. My wife (W), daughter (Em), and a kid we babysit (Z).
W and I were heading out the door to pick up the kids and grab some groceries we needed for dinner. It was an emergency grocery run, as we hadn't made it to the store earlier in the week to pick up our usual fruits and vegetables. W asked me if I wanted to get dropped off at the daycare then walk home, and she would go to the store and get the groceries. I decided that we should all go along, in hindsight a poor decision. Em and Z were very excited and energetic, and were not listening at all. They were hitting the price signs and running all over, nearly running into other shoppers all the while. I tried many times to explain to them that what they were doing was unacceptable, and they needed to calm down. They didn't. We finally made it to the cashier and finished our shopping. On our way out the door, W snapped at the kids because she had enough, they were being disrespectful to both W and I, and it was enough. Harsh words were said, and the behaviour did not change all that much. We finally made it home, and W decided that she had a long enough day (she had a very rough day at work) and that she was going to lie down for a bit.
So, what needs was Em trying to meet (and Z, for that matter)?
- She had just gotten picked up from daycare, and so was excited to go home and play. Instead of being able to go play (as we usually did) she was dragged along to the grocery store where she wasn't allowed to do anything. This did not match her needs.
- She also wanted to be moving and expressing herself through her actions, and probably felt that she was being held back and contrained. She wasn't given enough time to understand what was going on and why her routine was being thrown out of whack, she was just thrust into the situation and expected to handle it.
- I wanted some interdependance, and wanted to be able to get responsibilities done (grocery shopping) and still spend time with W and Em
- I wanted to get the shopping done quickly so that we could go home, and didn't give the kids enough time to process the change in routine.
- I wanted the kids to listen to me when I explained things to them, and respect me.
- I particularly want to ensure that my daughter knows that she is loved and respected, and that she can express her feelings and needs to me whenever she may need it. I want her to forgive me even though she doesn't act as though she remembers what happened.
Do you have an example of an incident (either with another adult or a child) that didn't go well? Analyze it. Break it down. Figure out what possible sources of issues were, and see if you can create a compromise. Just because that one situation has passed doesn't mean that there won't be more that may arise. Deal with it ahead of time, and predict issues.
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
(this post is a part of November's blog carnival against child abuse)
Enjoy the Compassionate Parenting series? Click the link for a full list from the series.
Monday Musing: Crutch or Reason?
I really appreciate all the input I got for my emotional expression the other day, it's nice to know that there are others out there that experience issues that are beyond their control. I always know that there are others out there with problems coping, but it's nice to actually hear from you (Here's looking at you Denise!)
My thoughts today have to do with sharing your mental instabilities (whatever they may be) with those around you. I find that sometimes when people find out that I have trouble controlling my emotions and keeping them under control and logical, that they tend to start thinking that I'm less of a mature adult, and more someone who needs to be treated like a kid who doesn't know what life is really like.
If I'm not enjoying shopping one day, it might be because my mood is a little bit off centre, or it might be because I'm just tired and don't feel like shopping. Or what we're looking at isn't interesting to me. To say "oh, if you're just going to be moody, then what's the point?" just makes me feel like a complete nincompoop. Not to mention that it's really harsh.
To look at me when I might look sad or depressed, maybe it is a swing in the mood that came up for no reason, or maybe it's because I had a crappy day. Maybe it's even because your general tone of voice is really harsh and hurting my feelings. I have feelings, and I'm proud of it, and I don't like it when people treat me like I'm some kind of zombie just because I tend to have mood swings. It's biased, prejudiced, and effing rude. (Pardon my language)
So when someone you know has trouble coping, or has some mood disorder (whether it's diagnosed or not) or maybe is just having a bad day, try looking at it from their perspective instead of just thinking that they're being an inconvenience. Because when you have compassion for those around you, they are way more likely to believe that you are sincere when you ask them what's wrong, and maybe talking to you will help break them out of whatever funk they're in.
Think globally. Even a simple smile can change someone's day, imagine what a whole tone of voice can do.
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Enjoy the Monday Musing series? Here's the rest of the posts:
Gardens
Happy thoughts
Automatic negative reactions
Thanksgiving
Sustainable eating
Contentment
My thoughts today have to do with sharing your mental instabilities (whatever they may be) with those around you. I find that sometimes when people find out that I have trouble controlling my emotions and keeping them under control and logical, that they tend to start thinking that I'm less of a mature adult, and more someone who needs to be treated like a kid who doesn't know what life is really like.
If I'm not enjoying shopping one day, it might be because my mood is a little bit off centre, or it might be because I'm just tired and don't feel like shopping. Or what we're looking at isn't interesting to me. To say "oh, if you're just going to be moody, then what's the point?" just makes me feel like a complete nincompoop. Not to mention that it's really harsh.
To look at me when I might look sad or depressed, maybe it is a swing in the mood that came up for no reason, or maybe it's because I had a crappy day. Maybe it's even because your general tone of voice is really harsh and hurting my feelings. I have feelings, and I'm proud of it, and I don't like it when people treat me like I'm some kind of zombie just because I tend to have mood swings. It's biased, prejudiced, and effing rude. (Pardon my language)
So when someone you know has trouble coping, or has some mood disorder (whether it's diagnosed or not) or maybe is just having a bad day, try looking at it from their perspective instead of just thinking that they're being an inconvenience. Because when you have compassion for those around you, they are way more likely to believe that you are sincere when you ask them what's wrong, and maybe talking to you will help break them out of whatever funk they're in.
Think globally. Even a simple smile can change someone's day, imagine what a whole tone of voice can do.
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Enjoy the Monday Musing series? Here's the rest of the posts:
Gardens
Happy thoughts
Automatic negative reactions
Thanksgiving
Sustainable eating
Contentment
Ebb and flow - Emotions that are not under control
When you feel unable to focus on the things right in front of you, what do you do? I have been suffering this question a lot lately. I have this overwhelming feeling of hopelessness that just doesn't go away for longer than a few days. I feel lost and confused at my own thoughts and emotions, and don't have a starting point to go by to start stepping out of this.
I feel isolated despite being around many people throughout the day. I know that most of them even care about me to an extent. Processing negative emotions has always been a challenge for me, and I think the main reason I recede into isolation and hopelessness is because I'm avoiding these negative emotions.
I need to find a way to express myself, but don't know where to start.
Things starting feeling habit and routine, and I start to crave spontaneity despite the recklessness that I know it brings.
I lose the will to eat, or I find myself eating too much.
I lose the will to read, or I find myself reading more than paying attention to my wife and daughter.
I lose the will to knit/crochet, or I find myself burying into it as an escape from what's around me.
The worst of it is, I don't realize that I'm doing it until those around me have been hurt and pushed away by my actions.
Baby steps is the way to go, but I don't know which baby steps to start with.
Any advice?
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
I feel isolated despite being around many people throughout the day. I know that most of them even care about me to an extent. Processing negative emotions has always been a challenge for me, and I think the main reason I recede into isolation and hopelessness is because I'm avoiding these negative emotions.
I need to find a way to express myself, but don't know where to start.
Things starting feeling habit and routine, and I start to crave spontaneity despite the recklessness that I know it brings.
I lose the will to eat, or I find myself eating too much.
I lose the will to read, or I find myself reading more than paying attention to my wife and daughter.
I lose the will to knit/crochet, or I find myself burying into it as an escape from what's around me.
The worst of it is, I don't realize that I'm doing it until those around me have been hurt and pushed away by my actions.
Baby steps is the way to go, but I don't know which baby steps to start with.
Any advice?
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Compassionate Parenting: Resolving problems by encouraging independance
One of the actions you can choose that will ensure more co-operation than conflict in your home is to encourage your children to think things through for themselves and make their own choices.
Next time you are tempted to solve a problem your child is having, ask your child what his/her ideas are about how to solve it.
Each week I get a new tip in my e-mail from NonViolentCommunication.com, and each week when I read it I try to see the correlation between parent and child, and between other people. So far, each tip has been able to be related to both children and adults.
Which really does make sense, because children are just small adults, waiting to shine and trying to grow.
So how can we help children and adults grow? By nurturing them, treating them as equals, and letting them make their own mistakes about life. No one will learn a task the same way that you have, and that is perfectly alright. Each person needs to try things their own way to find their personal preferences and abilities to complete it.
Allowing others to try things their way when it's regarding something that you may be involved in can be a challenge. Even more so if you allow yourself to think that your method of doing things is better than anyone elses. Instead of trying to push someone towards the method or answer that you want, try instead to ensure that they have any and all the information required to make a truly educated decision.
Not only will this help them grow in terms of gaining abilities on how to do things, it will also grow the co-operativeness between the two of you, and it will allow the other person to be able to trust you to help without interfering.
The best gift you can give someone is the gift of your time with no strings attached.
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Enjoy the Compassionate Parenting series? Click the link for a full list from the series.
Next time you are tempted to solve a problem your child is having, ask your child what his/her ideas are about how to solve it.
Each week I get a new tip in my e-mail from NonViolentCommunication.com, and each week when I read it I try to see the correlation between parent and child, and between other people. So far, each tip has been able to be related to both children and adults.
Which really does make sense, because children are just small adults, waiting to shine and trying to grow.
So how can we help children and adults grow? By nurturing them, treating them as equals, and letting them make their own mistakes about life. No one will learn a task the same way that you have, and that is perfectly alright. Each person needs to try things their own way to find their personal preferences and abilities to complete it.
Allowing others to try things their way when it's regarding something that you may be involved in can be a challenge. Even more so if you allow yourself to think that your method of doing things is better than anyone elses. Instead of trying to push someone towards the method or answer that you want, try instead to ensure that they have any and all the information required to make a truly educated decision.
Not only will this help them grow in terms of gaining abilities on how to do things, it will also grow the co-operativeness between the two of you, and it will allow the other person to be able to trust you to help without interfering.
The best gift you can give someone is the gift of your time with no strings attached.
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Enjoy the Compassionate Parenting series? Click the link for a full list from the series.
Do things for yourself
Stop right now. Stop whatever you're doing.
Think about what you're doing. Is it for you, or is it for someone else?
When was the last time you did something for yourself?
Can you remember?
Well, I want you to do something for yourself. Right now.
Eat something you enjoy. Write something you want to write. Give yourself 15 minutes to relax in silence. Listen to some music. Whatever you like.
Just do it.
It'll feel good, and you'll feel better.
You spend all day trying to do things for other people. Who is more important to you than yourself? If you answer anything other than "ME!" you have your priorities mixed up. Even if you have a baby, or a child, or whatever else, YOU are still the most important.
Why?
Because if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to help other as effectively, and you'll burn yourself out. Then who will help those you were helping?
So take some time and do something just for you.
You won't regret it.
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Think about what you're doing. Is it for you, or is it for someone else?
When was the last time you did something for yourself?
Can you remember?
Well, I want you to do something for yourself. Right now.
Eat something you enjoy. Write something you want to write. Give yourself 15 minutes to relax in silence. Listen to some music. Whatever you like.
Just do it.
It'll feel good, and you'll feel better.
You spend all day trying to do things for other people. Who is more important to you than yourself? If you answer anything other than "ME!" you have your priorities mixed up. Even if you have a baby, or a child, or whatever else, YOU are still the most important.
Why?
Because if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to help other as effectively, and you'll burn yourself out. Then who will help those you were helping?
So take some time and do something just for you.
You won't regret it.
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Happy Halloween!!
Halloween to me is a day to dress up in something you wouldn't normally wear. Now, I don't take it to the degree, and dress like a hooker or anything. I'll just throw together a really off the wall outfit.
It's fun, and it doesn't cost me anything because I just use whatever I already have in unusual combinations.
My daughter this year is going as a bride. She is wearing her flower girl dress (which was white or off-white, not sure which) and my veil from when I got married in August and a bundle of pink plastic flowers I got as a Christmas gift from her two years ago.
So cute! I can't wait to post a picture of it.
What are you doing for Halloween? Do you dress up? Do you go out, or do you stay in? Tell me all your gorey secrets (pun intentional).
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
It's fun, and it doesn't cost me anything because I just use whatever I already have in unusual combinations.
My daughter this year is going as a bride. She is wearing her flower girl dress (which was white or off-white, not sure which) and my veil from when I got married in August and a bundle of pink plastic flowers I got as a Christmas gift from her two years ago.
So cute! I can't wait to post a picture of it.
What are you doing for Halloween? Do you dress up? Do you go out, or do you stay in? Tell me all your gorey secrets (pun intentional).
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Cancelled my cable? Why yes I did!
After much deliberation, and discussions with the wife, we decided to cancel the cable subscription.
What? I hear some people cry in outrage, How can you LIVE without cable?
I'll tell you, it's simple. There are so many things in the world that I want to do, that she wants to do, and that our daughter wants to do. Why should we pay for a service that is a detriment to our lives? Without the cable subscription, there is no pull towards sitting on the couch watching television all day.
We are given only a limited number of hours per day.
Eight hours are spent sleeping (on average)
One and a half hours spent commuting to and from work
Eight hours spent working
One hour spent getting everything ready to go to and from work
You're left with seven and a half hours. Seven and a half hours in one day to do something great, something inspirational, or just something that will make you feel content. In those seven and a half hours, you also have to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, take care of your pets, spend time with your children and spouse, tidy the house, wash the dishes, etc.
How can you do that if you are watching television?
Not to mention the advertisements that are non-stop. I won't miss those, let me tell you.
Do you have a cable or satellite television subscription? Why or why not?
If you don't, do you try to convince others to cancel theirs?
If you do, do you think people without televisions or cable are odd?
Peace (in the home, at last) and serenity,
Simply Me
What? I hear some people cry in outrage, How can you LIVE without cable?
I'll tell you, it's simple. There are so many things in the world that I want to do, that she wants to do, and that our daughter wants to do. Why should we pay for a service that is a detriment to our lives? Without the cable subscription, there is no pull towards sitting on the couch watching television all day.
We are given only a limited number of hours per day.
Eight hours are spent sleeping (on average)
One and a half hours spent commuting to and from work
Eight hours spent working
One hour spent getting everything ready to go to and from work
You're left with seven and a half hours. Seven and a half hours in one day to do something great, something inspirational, or just something that will make you feel content. In those seven and a half hours, you also have to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, take care of your pets, spend time with your children and spouse, tidy the house, wash the dishes, etc.
How can you do that if you are watching television?
Not to mention the advertisements that are non-stop. I won't miss those, let me tell you.
Do you have a cable or satellite television subscription? Why or why not?
If you don't, do you try to convince others to cancel theirs?
If you do, do you think people without televisions or cable are odd?
Peace (in the home, at last) and serenity,
Simply Me
Saving the world during back to school? Why not?
Inspired by The EcoDiva's 16 green back to school tips, I am going to share the green back to school things I did this year for my daughter (who is starting grade 1 in September), as well as the things I plan to do throughout the school year.
Green things I did:
How about you, other lovely people? If you have children, what things have to done to lessen the impact of the dreaded back to school shopping without busting either your wallet or the environment?
And those of you without kids, do you take advantage of back to school shopping season to stock up while the awesome sales are going on? Buy up your favourite clothes, stationary, backpacks, etc?
Any new ways of taking advantage of the sales that are out there are always appreciated and will be spread to friends and family.
Love and serenity,
Simply Me
**Post Consumer Recycled Materials
Green things I did:
- Bought pencils in bulk
- Purchased a fabric pencil case, even though the list said to get a hard plastic one (no way!)
- Only got one box of freezer bags, and will send them as needed, instead of blinding sending 2 full boxes as requested
- Reusing previously purchased scissors/crayons/markers from her art collection and last year
- Picked the paper duotangs instead of plastic
- Got a paper 2-pocket folder, instead of plastic
- Avoided purchasing a pack of pencils wrapped in plastic, in favour of a box slightly more expensive packaged in cardboard with no plastic window
- Continuing to reuse her stainless steel water bottle, she loves it, it's covered in monkeys
- Not bought pre-cut tennis balls (turns out it was a waste of money, and they're useless for anything aside from putting on chair legs)
- Shopped around for PCRM** in her duotangs/folders/pencils/etc
- Not done any shopping at Walmart (damn the convenience of that hated store!)
- Look around for good deals on stationary and school supplies at all stores, including second hand stores
- Check the internet for any deals at any of my favourite green shopping websites, and look for new favourites
- When she needs clothes, head to the 2nd hand store up the street for clothes instead of Walmart/Childrens Place/etc
- Repurpose her smaller clothes with long sleeves/pants that still fit around into t-shirts/tank tops and shorts (done once already this year)
- Educate her on the perils and concerns with using hand sanitizer (especially since I'm sure the school has them ALL OVER THE PLACE!)
- Keep talking to her about advertising, since she seems to be a royal sucker for TV ads ("you need to get Bounce dryer bars, they're the best! The TV said so!" Oysh, thankfully we are watching more movies lately)
How about you, other lovely people? If you have children, what things have to done to lessen the impact of the dreaded back to school shopping without busting either your wallet or the environment?
And those of you without kids, do you take advantage of back to school shopping season to stock up while the awesome sales are going on? Buy up your favourite clothes, stationary, backpacks, etc?
Any new ways of taking advantage of the sales that are out there are always appreciated and will be spread to friends and family.
Love and serenity,
Simply Me
**Post Consumer Recycled Materials
Day 13 of 30: Someone I wish could forgive me
With 8 days til the wedding, things are getting a little stressed out around here! I think that everything is pretty much done, but every time I think that, something new comes up.
With that, today's tweet is to someone I wish could forgive me. Now, this one kind of goes with yesterday's post because it happens to be to my daughter.
@EmiBear You may not remember it, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry it happened, and I'm sorry I didnt notice it sooner. I hope you can forgive me, I love you
Some things in life are just hard to accept, and looking in the mirror only gets harder when my little girl does something or says something that reminds me of what happened to her. Nothing to severe, not like you hear about on TV. But bad enough for me. I wish every day that I had opened my eyes sooner, and left that *expletive* years before I did.
But the past is the past, and thankfully for the most part she seems to have recovered. She was top of her class in senior kindergarten, and I'm sure she'll be up there this school year. She is happy, smiling, intelligent (sometimes too much so). I love her dearly, and every day I pray and hope and wish that she turns out to be normal. So far so good.
Positivity and love spread across the globe,
Simply Me
With that, today's tweet is to someone I wish could forgive me. Now, this one kind of goes with yesterday's post because it happens to be to my daughter.
@EmiBear You may not remember it, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry it happened, and I'm sorry I didnt notice it sooner. I hope you can forgive me, I love you
Some things in life are just hard to accept, and looking in the mirror only gets harder when my little girl does something or says something that reminds me of what happened to her. Nothing to severe, not like you hear about on TV. But bad enough for me. I wish every day that I had opened my eyes sooner, and left that *expletive* years before I did.
But the past is the past, and thankfully for the most part she seems to have recovered. She was top of her class in senior kindergarten, and I'm sure she'll be up there this school year. She is happy, smiling, intelligent (sometimes too much so). I love her dearly, and every day I pray and hope and wish that she turns out to be normal. So far so good.
Positivity and love spread across the globe,
Simply Me
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