I’m finding myself getting very irritable of late. Like I’m stuck stationary when I want to be moving forward. I stopped writing for almost an entire week, and have been feeling kind of stuck. This is very hard to break through, and despite being able to talk at length with people about the things that are on my mind, I haven’t been able to put it into writing. I’m not really sure why exactly; maybe I was piling too much freelancing on my plate. I have regained some semblance of control over that and allowed myself to take a break over the weekend. I’m feeling much better now about writing and the flow of words, and I plan on making sure that this lesson stays forefront in my mind.
There was a whole different source of frustration for me fairly recently, and I did know that it would happen. Being around people who are so vastly different from me in almost every way is very challenging and emotionally draining. It takes a lot of effort not to snap or freak out about things that I cannot control. It’s not that these people are bad people, they are just different from myself and I am pretty firmly set in my ways and my thoughts.
There was also the rampant focus on weight in terms of how it impacts physical appearance. There is so much more to a person’s appearance than just their weight. Every compliment that was shared during the weekend had relevance to that person’s weight and/or how much weight they had lost. Sure, some people need to lose weight, but it’s not a matter of numbers or girth, it’s a matter of health. The focus being on just size is frustrating and aggravating.
I once believed that to be considered a healthy weight, you had to be a size 6 or less. Now I’m sitting comfortably in a size 10 (or so) and I’ve never felt healthier. Sure I have a little bit of weight on my hips, legs, and stomach, whatever. I eat pretty much whatever I want and don’t fluctuate in weight. I eat healthy foods, and I try to get in a little bit of activity every day. Some days are better than others, but I don’t beat myself up over it. If I’m feeling particularly ‘bleh’ then I know it’s either time to eat some food, or time to get my body moving.
I don’t beat myself up about having any extra weight either. It’s healthy to have a little bit of flub. It helps keep me warm (that was certainly a huge challenge when I was size 3-6) and if I get sick I don’t worry about eating, I can focus on relaxing and healing. Even after I got my wisdom teeth removed, I had lost about 10-15 pounds. Once my mouth felt better and I could eat properly again, I ate whatever I wanted and my weight went right back up to where it was. No muss, no fuss. This is where my body wants to be, so why should I fight it? Just to fit within someone’s ideal of what a perfect woman looks like? No thanks. I’m perfect the way I am, because I am perfectly Laura. Why would I want to be anyone else?
Fighting with self-image is a huge challenge that many girls, women, and even boys and men go through. For what? So that companies make money trying to tell you that you will feel better about yourself if you lost 5 more pounds, if you fit into that lower size, if you buy this, buy that. F*ck it! Eleanor Roosevelt once said: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” and I stand by that. Take the focus off of appearances, and worry more about actions and words. Take the focus off of being “beautiful” and “pretty” and focus more on being “confident” and “comfortable” with yourself, your children, your family and your friends.
When E comes to me in the mornings after she’s gotten herself dressed, she asks me: “Mommy, do I look beautiful?” and I always reply “You look very comfortable and ready for your day.” She smiles and gives me a hug. Because being comfortable and ready for your day is more important that being fancy, stylish and pretty. Being dressed to be able to take on your day and show it that you’re the boss is both essential and freeing. When you don’t have to worry about how you look beyond being appropriately clothed, you have more time to focus on what really matters, like play, work, fun, and learning.
In the morning when I get dressed, I choose clothes that are comfortable. Always. If I’m not going to be comfortable in my clothing, I won’t be able to focus on my daughter, my wife, my job or my friends. I will be too busy worrying about if there are wrinkles in my clothing, or how much I have that this shirt chafes, or how much I’m going to need to soak my feet at night after wearing a horrid pair of shoes all day. Why bother? There are so many more important things in life to experience, so many positive things, to worry about focusing on something as silly as looking perfect. Because perfect is different to everyone, and just because the magazine or advertisements say that you’ll be perfect in a size 0 doesn’t mean you will be.
Feel confident in your own body, because it is perfect for you. What else can you ask for?
Showing posts with label vent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vent. Show all posts
Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays?
Disclaimer: This is a rant, and it will be very opinionated. If you disagree, I respect that. But don't disrespect me by saying my opinion isn't valid, or I will be forced to delete your comment. If you agree, fantastic, I respect that too. Much love.
I will begin by saying it straight out: I am not Christian. I do not believe in Jesus. If you do, good for you and I hope that your faith will get you through the harder times in life. But I am not you. I consider myself a spiritual agnostic. Don't try to search it or look it up on Wikipedia. I made it up, and it covers my beliefs pretty well.
Note: apparently others have thought of it, though their concept of spiritual agnosticism is different than my own
However, I do celebrate Christmas. I love Christmas. It is, without contest, my favourite holiday. It's not the gifts, or the spending money, or the unwrapping of whatever interesting or unique knick-knacks I may receive. It's not even Santa Claus, elves, and all the other fairy tale stuff that makes it magical. It's the family time.
Every Christmas, I spend the day with my parents. Every year, even when I was not living with them, on December the 25th, I would go over to their house and spend the day there. Sometimes my paternal grandmother would be there, sometimes not. Sometimes my aunt on my dad's side would be there, sometimes not. But my parents were ALWAYS there.
Every Boxing Day, I spend the day with my extended family on my mom's side. All 23-or-so of us cram ourselves into whichever house is volunteered for it and spend the day together. We open gifts, we talk amongst each other, we eat. If I didn't go one year, I'm pretty sure my maternal grandmother would whoop my ass, and I would stand there and take it.
But lately, as many of you may have heard, it is no longer 'correct' to say Merry Christmas. Because god help us if we say Merry Christmas to someone of the Jewish, Islamic, Pagan, etc faith. It's an attack on their faith.
I'm sorry, but if I celebrate Christmas, I will be saying Merry Christmas. If I celebrated Hannukah, or Kwanzaa, or Yule, I would expect that people would not be offended by wishing them a joyous Hannukah, or Kwanzaa, or Yule. If you get offended by people who say Merry Christmas, you are insecure in your own faith.
Getting offended at someone wishing you a happy holiday that you do not celebrate is like getting offended when someone asks you if someone of the same gender (if you're straight) or different gender (if you're gay) is attractive. If you can't say that someone else is attractive without being uncomfortable and offended, then you are not secure in your sexuality. Just admit it.
I will say it again, I am not Christian. I celebrate Christmas for what it means to me. I am also gay, but I can tell others that I find men attractive, even if I would never attempt to bed or try to attract one. I am secure in my faith and spirituality as I am secure in my sexuality.
If you say Happy Hannukah to me, I will assume that it is your religion and your holiday that you are following, and I will say Happy Hannukah back to you. Because I respect your choice in religion and holiday.
If you say Happy Kwanzaa to me, I will assume that it is your religion and your holiday that you are following, and I will say Happy Kwanzaa back to you. Because I respect your choice in religion and holiday.
If I say Merry Christmas to you, just say it back. Or reply with the holiday of your personal choice. (example: I say "Merry Christmas" you reply "Happy Hannukah" back. It's not challenging.) I am wishing you well in the festive season and holiday of my choice, and trying to show a level of respect in myself. If you don't respect my choice, then don't say anything back. Don't be snarky, that's just disrespectful and rude.
Saying Happy Holidays, however 'all encompassing' is insulting to me.
It is a holiday season, but my holiday is Christmas. If you want me to respect your choices and your beliefs, then show some to me. Because I have nothing against other religions or holidays. Just because they are not my choice does not make them invalid to me.
Open your heart and accept the love that people are trying to share with you.
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
I will begin by saying it straight out: I am not Christian. I do not believe in Jesus. If you do, good for you and I hope that your faith will get you through the harder times in life. But I am not you. I consider myself a spiritual agnostic. Don't try to search it or look it up on Wikipedia. I made it up, and it covers my beliefs pretty well.
Note: apparently others have thought of it, though their concept of spiritual agnosticism is different than my own
However, I do celebrate Christmas. I love Christmas. It is, without contest, my favourite holiday. It's not the gifts, or the spending money, or the unwrapping of whatever interesting or unique knick-knacks I may receive. It's not even Santa Claus, elves, and all the other fairy tale stuff that makes it magical. It's the family time.
Every Christmas, I spend the day with my parents. Every year, even when I was not living with them, on December the 25th, I would go over to their house and spend the day there. Sometimes my paternal grandmother would be there, sometimes not. Sometimes my aunt on my dad's side would be there, sometimes not. But my parents were ALWAYS there.
Every Boxing Day, I spend the day with my extended family on my mom's side. All 23-or-so of us cram ourselves into whichever house is volunteered for it and spend the day together. We open gifts, we talk amongst each other, we eat. If I didn't go one year, I'm pretty sure my maternal grandmother would whoop my ass, and I would stand there and take it.
But lately, as many of you may have heard, it is no longer 'correct' to say Merry Christmas. Because god help us if we say Merry Christmas to someone of the Jewish, Islamic, Pagan, etc faith. It's an attack on their faith.
I'm sorry, but if I celebrate Christmas, I will be saying Merry Christmas. If I celebrated Hannukah, or Kwanzaa, or Yule, I would expect that people would not be offended by wishing them a joyous Hannukah, or Kwanzaa, or Yule. If you get offended by people who say Merry Christmas, you are insecure in your own faith.
Getting offended at someone wishing you a happy holiday that you do not celebrate is like getting offended when someone asks you if someone of the same gender (if you're straight) or different gender (if you're gay) is attractive. If you can't say that someone else is attractive without being uncomfortable and offended, then you are not secure in your sexuality. Just admit it.
I will say it again, I am not Christian. I celebrate Christmas for what it means to me. I am also gay, but I can tell others that I find men attractive, even if I would never attempt to bed or try to attract one. I am secure in my faith and spirituality as I am secure in my sexuality.
If you say Happy Hannukah to me, I will assume that it is your religion and your holiday that you are following, and I will say Happy Hannukah back to you. Because I respect your choice in religion and holiday.
If you say Happy Kwanzaa to me, I will assume that it is your religion and your holiday that you are following, and I will say Happy Kwanzaa back to you. Because I respect your choice in religion and holiday.
If I say Merry Christmas to you, just say it back. Or reply with the holiday of your personal choice. (example: I say "Merry Christmas" you reply "Happy Hannukah" back. It's not challenging.) I am wishing you well in the festive season and holiday of my choice, and trying to show a level of respect in myself. If you don't respect my choice, then don't say anything back. Don't be snarky, that's just disrespectful and rude.
Saying Happy Holidays, however 'all encompassing' is insulting to me.
- First of all, you are releasing your own conviction and system of beliefs for fear of insulting or offending people. No matter what you do in life, people will be offended at it. There's nothing you can do about it. Just be yourself and those who respect truth and honesty with come to you.
- Secondly, most people don't celebrate "holidays" they celebrate Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/Yule/etc. Generalizing is discrimination and prejudice. If you don't believe it, start generalizing about a group of people and see if they appreciate it.
- Thirdly, and finally, most of the 'holiday season' holidays do not overlap. Occasionally they do, but for the most part they are stand-alone. (example: Hannukah started on December 1 and ended December 9, Kwanzaa December 26 til January 1, Yule December 21 in the northern hemisphere and June 21 in the southern hemisphere.) Not even close!
It is a holiday season, but my holiday is Christmas. If you want me to respect your choices and your beliefs, then show some to me. Because I have nothing against other religions or holidays. Just because they are not my choice does not make them invalid to me.
Open your heart and accept the love that people are trying to share with you.
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Monday Musing: Crutch or Reason?
I really appreciate all the input I got for my emotional expression the other day, it's nice to know that there are others out there that experience issues that are beyond their control. I always know that there are others out there with problems coping, but it's nice to actually hear from you (Here's looking at you Denise!)
My thoughts today have to do with sharing your mental instabilities (whatever they may be) with those around you. I find that sometimes when people find out that I have trouble controlling my emotions and keeping them under control and logical, that they tend to start thinking that I'm less of a mature adult, and more someone who needs to be treated like a kid who doesn't know what life is really like.
If I'm not enjoying shopping one day, it might be because my mood is a little bit off centre, or it might be because I'm just tired and don't feel like shopping. Or what we're looking at isn't interesting to me. To say "oh, if you're just going to be moody, then what's the point?" just makes me feel like a complete nincompoop. Not to mention that it's really harsh.
To look at me when I might look sad or depressed, maybe it is a swing in the mood that came up for no reason, or maybe it's because I had a crappy day. Maybe it's even because your general tone of voice is really harsh and hurting my feelings. I have feelings, and I'm proud of it, and I don't like it when people treat me like I'm some kind of zombie just because I tend to have mood swings. It's biased, prejudiced, and effing rude. (Pardon my language)
So when someone you know has trouble coping, or has some mood disorder (whether it's diagnosed or not) or maybe is just having a bad day, try looking at it from their perspective instead of just thinking that they're being an inconvenience. Because when you have compassion for those around you, they are way more likely to believe that you are sincere when you ask them what's wrong, and maybe talking to you will help break them out of whatever funk they're in.
Think globally. Even a simple smile can change someone's day, imagine what a whole tone of voice can do.
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Enjoy the Monday Musing series? Here's the rest of the posts:
Gardens
Happy thoughts
Automatic negative reactions
Thanksgiving
Sustainable eating
Contentment
My thoughts today have to do with sharing your mental instabilities (whatever they may be) with those around you. I find that sometimes when people find out that I have trouble controlling my emotions and keeping them under control and logical, that they tend to start thinking that I'm less of a mature adult, and more someone who needs to be treated like a kid who doesn't know what life is really like.
If I'm not enjoying shopping one day, it might be because my mood is a little bit off centre, or it might be because I'm just tired and don't feel like shopping. Or what we're looking at isn't interesting to me. To say "oh, if you're just going to be moody, then what's the point?" just makes me feel like a complete nincompoop. Not to mention that it's really harsh.
To look at me when I might look sad or depressed, maybe it is a swing in the mood that came up for no reason, or maybe it's because I had a crappy day. Maybe it's even because your general tone of voice is really harsh and hurting my feelings. I have feelings, and I'm proud of it, and I don't like it when people treat me like I'm some kind of zombie just because I tend to have mood swings. It's biased, prejudiced, and effing rude. (Pardon my language)
So when someone you know has trouble coping, or has some mood disorder (whether it's diagnosed or not) or maybe is just having a bad day, try looking at it from their perspective instead of just thinking that they're being an inconvenience. Because when you have compassion for those around you, they are way more likely to believe that you are sincere when you ask them what's wrong, and maybe talking to you will help break them out of whatever funk they're in.
Think globally. Even a simple smile can change someone's day, imagine what a whole tone of voice can do.
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Enjoy the Monday Musing series? Here's the rest of the posts:
Gardens
Happy thoughts
Automatic negative reactions
Thanksgiving
Sustainable eating
Contentment
Monday Musing: Gardens
So I'm sitting here, this drab humid blah Monday morning, and I'm feeling envy.
Mel and I went up to Kemptville yesterday to meet her uncle and his partner, and they have a garden. In which they grow various foodstuff, including lettuce (which tastes like leaf lettuce, with better texture) radishes (not my thing, but cool) corn, potatoes, tomatoes, etc.
It just makes me wish that I could have one, but my apartment is facing the north, so we get like 2 hours of sunlight (if that) in the morning on our little balcony, and that's it!
If life wasn't so hectic, I would put more effort into planting my mom's vegetable garden back up, but I don't have time to go over there every day or so to pull weeds and whatever else you have to do in a garden. Plus, it's halfway through July, so it seems kinda pointless.
Just makes me sad, I can't wait to have a house with a yard so I can have my garden and learn all the in's and out's of growing food.
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Enjoy my Monday Musing series? Here is the list of the other posts from this series:
Happy thoughts
Automatic negative reactions
Thanksgiving
Sustainable eating
Contentment
Crutch or Reason?
Mel and I went up to Kemptville yesterday to meet her uncle and his partner, and they have a garden. In which they grow various foodstuff, including lettuce (which tastes like leaf lettuce, with better texture) radishes (not my thing, but cool) corn, potatoes, tomatoes, etc.
It just makes me wish that I could have one, but my apartment is facing the north, so we get like 2 hours of sunlight (if that) in the morning on our little balcony, and that's it!
If life wasn't so hectic, I would put more effort into planting my mom's vegetable garden back up, but I don't have time to go over there every day or so to pull weeds and whatever else you have to do in a garden. Plus, it's halfway through July, so it seems kinda pointless.
Just makes me sad, I can't wait to have a house with a yard so I can have my garden and learn all the in's and out's of growing food.
Peace and serenity,
Simply Me
Enjoy my Monday Musing series? Here is the list of the other posts from this series:
Happy thoughts
Automatic negative reactions
Thanksgiving
Sustainable eating
Contentment
Crutch or Reason?
Hypocrasy or baby steps?
Spoke with my fiancee yesterday, we've been having more disagreements than usual, mostly due to her trying to quit smoking. She mentioned how she thought it was hypocritical of me to be preaching about buying humane, organic meats, and yet still have tons of clothes and love shopping.
I know I'm not perfect, I admit that I am materialistic, but I do try. I try to do my best, and sometimes I make mistakes. She has an all-or-nothing attitude, and I think that shows through a lot when we talk about the environment. I however try to look at it as baby-steps and accepting that no one will ever be perfect.
In a world where it has gone so far, this disposable lifestyle that the world is so accustomed to and so attached to, baby steps is the most viable way of trying to change that. I avoid plastic as much as possible, I'm cutting down on my meat consumption (again), I buy as much as I can second hand, we recycle, I try to find ways to reuse the stuff we have before chucking it. That's more than a lot of people do, that is what I'm proud of.
I know I'm not perfect, I admit that I am materialistic, but I do try. I try to do my best, and sometimes I make mistakes. She has an all-or-nothing attitude, and I think that shows through a lot when we talk about the environment. I however try to look at it as baby-steps and accepting that no one will ever be perfect.
In a world where it has gone so far, this disposable lifestyle that the world is so accustomed to and so attached to, baby steps is the most viable way of trying to change that. I avoid plastic as much as possible, I'm cutting down on my meat consumption (again), I buy as much as I can second hand, we recycle, I try to find ways to reuse the stuff we have before chucking it. That's more than a lot of people do, that is what I'm proud of.
Parents and children
Almost nothing I see people buying these days is actually necessary. Are people so blind to advertisements that they really think that they need all this crap? Is it like this all across the world, or just in North America? Frightening to think about, no wonder all of our resources are dwindling. People think that changing little things here and there will help, and sure it does a little. But to save what we have left and restart, we really need to rethink our spending and living habits.
Kids out there are getting junk they don't need for holidays that mean nothing to them, stressing out the parents who need to work extra hours or not buy something they may need just to make junior happy. When did children take control of the world? If the kid isn't happy, it'll make him/her grow some character, patience and respect. From what I see on a day to day basis, parents have lost their backbones. This is a serious problem.
If you are a parent, and you know that when your child is unhappy, what do you do? If your answer is "anything to make him/her happy", it's wrong. Children should know what it feels like to be unhappy, sad, disappointed. It's all a part of growing up to be balanced. You should never be afraid to say no to ANYONE, least of all your own child. Remember that sometimes saying no will help them, even if they kick and scream for the time being. I have faith.
Kids out there are getting junk they don't need for holidays that mean nothing to them, stressing out the parents who need to work extra hours or not buy something they may need just to make junior happy. When did children take control of the world? If the kid isn't happy, it'll make him/her grow some character, patience and respect. From what I see on a day to day basis, parents have lost their backbones. This is a serious problem.
If you are a parent, and you know that when your child is unhappy, what do you do? If your answer is "anything to make him/her happy", it's wrong. Children should know what it feels like to be unhappy, sad, disappointed. It's all a part of growing up to be balanced. You should never be afraid to say no to ANYONE, least of all your own child. Remember that sometimes saying no will help them, even if they kick and scream for the time being. I have faith.
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