Stressed? Here are 4 quick and easy ways to lower your stress and feel better

Stress wreaks havoc on the body, we all know that. It can emulate the effects of a heart attack on the body, making the sufferer go through the motions of having a heart attack. It can disrupt sleep and destroy energy levels. Stress is one thing that can cause more damage than anyone could possibly foresee.

The longer that you allow stress to sit in your body and wrestle with your mind, the worse the effects become. A little bit of stress can be a motivator, absolutely. But when the stress starts causing negative feelings and emotions, it’s time to consider that you need to release some of it.

Here are four easy ways to kill your stress level, and feel better now:

1. First and foremost, the quickest, easiest and most effective way to release stress is to take some ‘me time’ and do something for yourself. You work hard, you do your best, and you deserve a reward. So take a nice warm bath, toss in some Epsom salts, and light a candle. Or maybe you’d rather sit in your backyard/nearby park with a nice drink (tea, beer, lemonade… whatever floats your boat!) and enjoy the scenery. Anything you want to do that takes you away from the stresses in life, just do it!
2. If you can’t walk away from your life for longer than 10 minutes right now, consider breathing deeply with your eyes closed. This simple and quick technique has immediate calming effects. All you have to do is close your eyes, inhale deeply and exhale slowly. Take your time. Enjoy a moment of silence and take in a good punch of refreshing oxygen.
3. Eat some fresh fruit. Whichever type of fruit you’d like, it doesn’t matter. But some fresh and vibrant fruit. First off, the bright colour will lighten your mood and lift your spirits. Secondly, the fruit will be chock full of natural sugars and vitamins that will give you an extra burst of energy and top up your energy stores. So grab a quick and fresh bite from your fridge, and enjoy the flavours and the colours.
4. Laugh! Read a funny joke, talk to someone that you find amusing, or watch a funny video. Anything that will make you giggle or full-out roar with laughter will almost immediately drop your stress level. Laughing both causes your body to move, simulating physical activity (which is also great for reducing stress, especially long-term) as well as causing your serotonin levels to rise and improving your outlook and stress levels very quickly.

On top of these four tips, consider the following few ideas to keep your stress levels down to a dull roar even at the worst of times.

1. Exercise regularly.
2. Eat healthy, fresh, raw foods such as fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and whole grains as often as possible.
3. Take time for yourself regularly!

Prepare yourself for the attack of stress, and you will be able to fend it off with much better results.

Remember that you are worth the effort, and you deserve to feel how wonderful it is to have little to no stress.

Do at least one thing for yourself everyday, even if it’s just five minutes. Take your time brushing your hair or in the shower and really enjoy what you’re doing. Slow down when you’re walking to or from the bus stop and look around at the beauty that surrounds you. Play with your kids or friends, boardgames, sports, or just horsing around! Just get out there and do something!

Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go have a snack! Gotta keep my energy up and my stress down for my family, my health, and my work.

Rearranging your space to clear the air and feel better

This weekend, M and I finally got around to rearranging the bedroom. Our bedroom is an odd shape, so trying to maximize on that space with a queen-sized bed is rather challenging. Space was cramped, and I couldn’t open the closet door fully on either side. The dresser drawers were partially blocked, and the cat decided that instead of trying to find its scratching post it would use one of our pillows as a resting place.

I finally got fed up with it, and we decided to start fresh. We emptied the room of everything except the bed (it’s too big to move around, but at least it rolls!) and moved the bed to the other side of the room. Arranged everything around that, bookshelf on the other side, kitty litter closer to the door (less litter tracks to walk through now!) and the closet doors open fully! What a relief!

This made me realize how important it is to rearrange your furniture and belongings periodically. It’s refreshing, like a new haircut. You get to take a fresh look at your space and where you want your belongings to go. Arrange it in a way that it esthetically pleasing as well as functional, and embraces your personal flair in your surroundings.

Feeling the need to constantly rearrange your surroundings and your furniture can be indicative of subconscious issues that you may not be addressing, but that doesn’t mean that you can move around the couches every few months when the seasons change, or when you get a new item.

Plan out your big furniture items first as they will be the hardest to place if you place the smaller items first. The big items will also shape the formation of your completed room. If you want to maximize on space, consider keeping your shelves all on one side of the room, and ensure that you have an open space in the middle of your room. If you are looking more for comfort, set it up to emphasize that. No matter what you want your room to look like, you can make it happen and without professional help.

Rearranging a room in your home also opens the door for some decluttering and cleaning that you may have been putting off for a while. It’s a lot easier to go through your belongings and decide what to keep and what to purge when you have to take it all out and put it back in. This sounds like a cumbersome task, but it isn’t so bad if you can be honest with yourself.

If you are doing your bedroom, go through your clothes and decide which ones you really don’t wear anymore and donate them. If you are rearranging your living room, go through your movies shelf and pick out which movies you don’t watch anymore and donate them. Things that are just taking up space in your home will only create mental clutter, so the sooner you get the monkey off your back, the better!

Cleaning hard to reach places also becomes easier when the shelves are emptied and the floor uncovered. What normally would have been a time-consuming task involving shifting furniture and moving small trinkets around will now take less than fifteen minutes (or less) because the area will already be cleared! Take those few minutes and get rid of those hidden dust bunnies. The air in your home will thank you.

Everybody goes through periods where their tastes change, and their preferences adjust. By rearranging parts of your home periodically, you are allowing your personal energy to flow positively as you feel more comfortable in your surroundings. You can clean and purge your areas with limited effort, and you will feel better knowing that it is as you want it to be. Be the master of your own domain, and allow yourself to feel at ease and at peace with your own surroundings. It can make all the difference in the world.

5 tips for easy relaxation

With the holidays having just passed us, and a large many people feeling the effects of stress and frustration, it’s time to share a few tips on how to relax. Stress can easily take its toll on the body, causing a deterioration of both body and mind. Fight the effects of stress with these easy tips:

1. Take a breath. A deep breath. Now exhale. Deep breathing is one of the easiest and most effective ways to convince your body to release any stress. When you breathe into you abdomen and allow the air to fill you up, you are maximizing oxygen. It is also possible to practice deep breathing anywhere and anytime.
2. Give yourself five minutes to do whatever you want. Read a page in a book, wash your face, or take a quick walk around your house/neighbourhood to stretch your legs. Just as long as it’s something for yourself.
3. Drink something warm and non-caffeinated and enjoy the flavour. Enjoy the warmth and relaxation of the steam as it wafts into your face as you take each sip. Drinking a warm, soothing drink forces you to take your time and enjoy what you are ingesting, and taking your time will allow you time to release your thoughts.
4. Turn on your favourite song and just sit and listen to it. Remember why you like this song, and think about what memories it brings back to you. Music has the ability to impress its energy upon us, so if you are trying to relax try to choose a calmer more relaxing song instead of a more upbeat one.
5. Do something physical, get your blood moving. It will release endorphins, which will relax you from the chemical side. This can be a way to release and let go of stress or anger without inflicting it onto anyone else. This works particularly well if you do it outside, as the fresh air has a rejuvenating sensation and the sunlight can assist in resetting priorities. 

By taking the time to accept that you are stressed, and taking the steps to soothe your mind, you are taking control of your own life. Try to do at least one relaxing thing per day, and you will notice the benefits.

What do you do to relax, either at the start, middle, or end of your day?

Peace and serenity,

Simply Me

Compassionate Parenting: Time In

Feelings are messengers of met and unmet needs.


Next time you are feeling anxious or upset, take a Time In -- close your eyes and acknowledge the feelings that are arising in you. Identify them and listen quietly for the need behind them.


When you know what the need(s) is (are), don't rush to determine what to do about it. Be patient. A strategy is likely to come to mind without effort.

This quote doesn't even mention children or parenting, because it applies to everyone. Everyone feels emotions, and sometimes they can be overwhelming. When you take a Time In and assess the feelings and the needs behind them, you can acheive a small level of control and feel as though you are not just letting everything out.

I will be going over the individual emotional needs experienced and required for each and every person in the near future, but for a quick refresher you can find the chart on my previous Compassionate Parenting post about meeting needs.

Taking a time in

This can be incredibly challenging, regardless of your family situation because people are raised these days to think that taking any time for yourself is selfish. I am here to tell you that it is the opposite of selfish.

You may have heard the quote "Before you can truly love somebody, you must learn to love yourself." Or at least some paraphrasing or off-shoot of that. It's true. If you can not find it in yourself to care and love your own person, you will be very hard-pressed to find the capability to love someone else.

Take time to yourself, a time in as it were, to learn more about yourself. Use this time, even if it's only five minutes, to familiarize yourself with your feelings and your wants. Your needs. Make a list of things you want to accomplish for yourself and for each one write a little blurb on a few ways you can achieve it.

It is not selfish to take care of your own needs

If your needs are unmet, you can feel angry, embarrassed, frustrated, lonely, nervous, sad, and even puzzled. This is only the tip of the iceberg of then negative feelings you will get when your needs are not fulfilled.

Not only this, but because of the negative feelings that will begin to overwhelm your mind and body you will be less and less capable of taking care of the needs of those around you. It will be a constant downward spiral until you make it stop.

Methods

A few things you can do when life gets overwhelming are as follows:

• Listen to a favourite song
• Write a poem
• Punch pillows
• Take a bubble (or no-bubble) bath
• Have a shower
• Drink a cup of herbal tea
• Go for a walk in your neighbourhood
• Smell some flowers
• Read a page or two of a book

The list goes on. Whatever helps you or your child to calm down inside while acknowledging that there are overwhelming feelings there will work wonders.

Accept that there are some things you can not change. You can not stop the earth from turning, and you can not stop a child from being energetic. Use these unchangeable situations to create something positive and magical.

Wait for a strategy

Now that your mind has been put a little bit to ease, relax in a comfortable chair and let your thoughts wander. Focus on one need that is not being fulfilled, and consider the different possibilities of why it is being left behind.

Think of the little and big things that are affecting that need being met. Create and imagine a few steps to work towards eliminating the emotional and physical roadblocks of that need being met.

Let your mind wander and solutions will come. Don’t be afraid of them, or try to shoot them down as they come. Just write down each idea as it comes to you, no matter how strange or obtuse it seems. You can worry about filtering out unrealistic ones after. Just allow your mind to do its work and don’t try to restrain it.

Once your mind has thrown out all the ideas that it can come up with in that moment, it’s time to let the list sit for a moment. Go make a cup of coffee or tea, take a little walk, and just step away from the list for a minimum of two minutes.

When you come back, you will have cleared your mind again, and you can take up the task of rereading your list. Cross out the ideas that truly can not be completed and put asterisks beside the ones you aren’t sure about. The ones you are sure can be completed with minimal effort or strain should be done first, as they will be the easiest and will yield the quickest response on your needs.

Write out any additional information for the ideas that you plan on completing, any little notes to yourself that you want to emphasize, or particular people you’d like to speak with regarding this. Anything that will make it easier for you to take control of your personal needs should be added.

Then get up, go out, and complete one of those tasks. It will be worth it immediately, and it will prevent you from procrastinating. Get it done, and reap the benefits!


Peace and serenity,

Simply Me

Enjoy the Compassionate Parenting series? Click the link for a full list from the series.

Anger management isn't only for aggressive anger

I have been listening to podcasts about anger management, and recently completed the Anger Survey from whatsgoodaboutanger.com, and it turns out that I have a serious anger problem.

You wouldn’t think it looking at me on a regular day. I don’t snap at people, and I rarely yell or raise my voice. Instead, I tend towards the covert and internal forms of processing anger. I take it out on myself, often, and I can also be (very) passive-aggressive. Sometimes I will do something passive-aggressive and not even realize it because it has become so second nature to me.

I tend to withdraw, pretty badly, when someone does or says something that upsets me. This, at least in part, is because I never learned how to properly process my negative and unproductive emotions and for many years just pushed them aside and pretended they didn’t exist. This is not effective, and now that I am becoming more self-confident the negativity is coming out more and more often.

The anger and negativity just comes up so slowly that I can rarely catch it, and often don’t realize that I am angry until I am almost fuming. In the podcasts I have been listening to, it seems that there are many types of anger.

There is righteous anger, in which an angry and assertive response is not only appropriate, it’s the best (or one of the best) way to resolve that issue. Anger is a natural response to unjust and unfair occurrences, and when it is kept under control can be very helpful. When someone does something wrong, it's very normal and natural to react with immediate feelings of anger. When this happens, you don't want to fly off the handle or make a cruel or hurtful remark, because that won't fix or help anything. Take a moment, maybe a few, to collect your thoughts to determine why you got angry. Then express your sentiments based on facts and personal opinion.

Example: I'm feel hurt that you forgot to meet me for lunch, it really made me feel unimportant. Do you think next time you could give me a call or text message to let me know you might be late?

This expresses your feelings of hurt, betrayal, resentment and insecurity in a calm and easy to understand manner. There are no ways to deny that what happened made you feel a certain way, so using statements based on feelings is a good way to express your hurt without attacking the other person.

I have such a hard time expressing my emotions because it does take me a while to fully process and understand them. Often I will just internalize any hurt feelings and pretend that nothing is wrong. All the while, a violent tempest swirls and grows inside my mind and my heart. I take it out on people who don't deserve it, while those who do deserve it get away with everything. It's frustrating for all involves, apart from those who ticked me off in the first place.

How do you handle your anger? Do you bottle it up, let it slowly leak out towards others, or do you tend to blow up? Or do you actually manage to control your anger to the point that it helps you resolve your issues?

Peace and serenity,

Simply Me

Ebb and flow - Emotions that are not under control

When you feel unable to focus on the things right in front of you, what do you do? I have been suffering this question a lot lately. I have this overwhelming feeling of hopelessness that just doesn't go away for longer than a few days. I feel lost and confused at my own thoughts and emotions, and don't have a starting point to go by to start stepping out of this.

I feel isolated despite being around many people throughout the day. I know that most of them even care about me to an extent. Processing negative emotions has always been a challenge for me, and I think the main reason I recede into isolation and hopelessness is because I'm avoiding these negative emotions.

I need to find a way to express myself, but don't know where to start.

Things starting feeling habit and routine, and I start to crave spontaneity despite the recklessness that I know it brings.

I lose the will to eat, or I find myself eating too much.

I lose the will to read, or I find myself reading more than paying attention to my wife and daughter.

I lose the will to knit/crochet, or I find myself burying into it as an escape from what's around me.

The worst of it is, I don't realize that I'm doing it until those around me have been hurt and pushed away by my actions.

Baby steps is the way to go, but I don't know which baby steps to start with.

Any advice?

Peace and serenity,

Simply Me

Do things for yourself

Stop right now. Stop whatever you're doing.

Think about what you're doing. Is it for you, or is it for someone else?

When was the last time you did something for yourself?

Can you remember?

Well, I want you to do something for yourself. Right now.

Eat something you enjoy. Write something you want to write. Give yourself 15 minutes to relax in silence. Listen to some music. Whatever you like.

Just do it.

It'll feel good, and you'll feel better.

You spend all day trying to do things for other people. Who is more important to you than yourself? If you answer anything other than "ME!" you have your priorities mixed up. Even if you have a baby, or a child, or whatever else, YOU are still the most important.

Why?

Because if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to help other as effectively, and you'll burn yourself out. Then who will help those you were helping?

So take some time and do something just for you.

You won't regret it.

Peace and serenity,

Simply Me

Adopting Simplicity: Ask yourself this...

When trying to determine a task/item/pastime/etc...'s priority, as yourself this:

Does it fulfill me in any way? Meaning, does having it around make you feel better, more accomplished, or does it just serve as a status symbol?

Can I enjoy it? Is it something that will get active use, or just sit in a corner/on a shelf/in a closet for months/years?

Why do I have this? Did you buy it because someone else had one, and so you felt that you needed it? Or is it something that you can truly use to benefit yourself somehow?

Ask yourself these simple questions when making choices about anything that takes your time or money. Make sure that when you spend money, you really get your value out of it. If it's something that will go out of style in less than five years, is it really worth your energy now?

Take a breath, and remember that all you can be is all that you want to be. You just need to take the steps to get there. Ensuring that you are not surrounded by things that distract you from your goals is a surefire way to find the energy to push yourself towards them.

Peace and serenity,

Simply Me

Enjoy my Adopting Simplicity series? Here is a list of the other posts from this series:
Step 1
Be Here Now
I could never...
Three important things per day
Simplify your holidays by adding depth

Personal health tips to avoid the flu

With flu season beginning to bear it's ugly head, and myself just getting over a nasty cold, I figured I would share my thoughts on germophobia.

Keep in mind, these are my personal views, and if you don't like them, that's fine.

1. Hand sanitizer is a waste of money. It's cold, feels gross on your hands, makes you smell like a booze-hound, and is overall bad for you immune system.

Why? Because your body needs to maintain a certain number of bacteria to balance it's own system, and to keep your immune system in check. Using hand sanitizer just kills off all the bacteria, making your system start fresh. With consistent use, it also tells your body that it doesn't need to create those anti-bacterical systems, and lowers your own personal immune system. Just wash your hands regularly with plain soap (not that antibacterial junk).

2. Keep warm. I know, technically you don't get sick by being cold. But it certainly doesn't make you feel any better! Throw on an extra layer, and your body will thank you. Plus, you'll exert less energy shaking/shivering, and won't lose hydration so quickly.

3. Drink your liquids!!! This has to be the worst thing that people don't do when they're feeling ill. They stop drinking. Worst thing. Ever. Keeping yourself hydrated will make your body continuously flush out all the nasty crap in your system, keeps the good bacteria where they are, and keeps your kidneys and other organs happy. So just drink something.

4. Get your rest where you can. If your body isn't rested, it can't fight off bacteria or other infections. Try to squeeze in at least 7 hours a night, preferably undisturbed. If you're having trouble sleeping, try avoiding caffeine and sugar after 7pm (or approximately 2-3 hours before you're heading to bed) and don't drink too much before bed.

These are just the basics, the commandments, that I follow pretty much year round. Just remember, if you treat your body well, it's more likely to treat you well in return. Give it what it needs, and it will work harder for you.

Peace and health,

Simply Me

Saving the world during back to school? Why not?

Inspired by The EcoDiva's 16 green back to school tips, I am going to share the green back to school things I did this year for my daughter (who is starting grade 1 in September), as well as the things I plan to do throughout the school year.

Green things I did:

• Bought pencils in bulk
• Purchased a fabric pencil case, even though the list said to get a hard plastic one (no way!)
• Only got one box of freezer bags, and will send them as needed, instead of blinding sending 2 full boxes as requested
• Reusing previously purchased scissors/crayons/markers from her art collection and last year
• Picked the paper duotangs instead of plastic
• Got a paper 2-pocket folder, instead of plastic
• Avoided purchasing a pack of pencils wrapped in plastic, in favour of a box slightly more expensive packaged in cardboard with no plastic window 
• Continuing to reuse her stainless steel water bottle, she loves it, it's covered in monkeys

 Green things I wish I did:

• Not bought pre-cut tennis balls (turns out it was a waste of money, and they're useless for anything aside from putting on chair legs)
• Shopped around for PCRM** in her duotangs/folders/pencils/etc
• Not done any shopping at Walmart (damn the convenience of that hated store!)

 Green things I plan to do:

• Look around for good deals on stationary and school supplies at all stores, including second hand stores
• Check the internet for any deals at any of my favourite green shopping websites, and look for new favourites
• When she needs clothes, head to the 2nd hand store up the street for clothes instead of Walmart/Childrens Place/etc
• Repurpose her smaller clothes with long sleeves/pants that still fit around into t-shirts/tank tops and shorts (done once already this year)
• Educate her on the perils and concerns with using hand sanitizer (especially since I'm sure the school has them ALL OVER THE PLACE!)
• Keep talking to her about advertising, since she seems to be a royal sucker for TV ads ("you need to get Bounce dryer bars, they're the best! The TV said so!" Oysh, thankfully we are watching more movies lately)

How about you, other lovely people? If you have children, what things have to done to lessen the impact of the dreaded back to school shopping without busting either your wallet or the environment?

And those of you without kids, do you take advantage of back to school shopping season to stock up while the awesome sales are going on? Buy up your favourite clothes, stationary, backpacks, etc?

Any new ways of taking advantage of the sales that are out there are always appreciated and will be spread to friends and family.

Love and serenity,

Simply Me



**Post Consumer Recycled Materials

Day 4 of 30 - My sibling AND wedding update

@Phil Despite the fact that you don't try to push yourself forward in life, I hope you can find your goal, and become all you should be.

My brother is a strange person. He is incredibly gifted and intelligent, but in that lays overconfidence and know-it-all-ism. He doesn't always accept that his way is not always the best, but he is usually there for me. We have had many disagreements, and many months where we did not speak. But he is my brother, and I do love him dearly. I only hope that he reaches for the dreams that he has, and I know that he will attain them.

In other news:

Just finishing up the sample procession for the wedding (which is in like less that 3 weeks!) and putting everything in order. My brain is mush. There is so much left to do, but it's all little details. I wish I had known how much was left, before now! Then I wouldn't be in crunch time! Bah!

Also, I'm handmaking my place cards. Did not want to pay for someone to do something that I can do. So I'm stamping cardstock with pink and blue letters. Good fun.

To routine, or not to routine, that is the question

Sooo, yoga has pretty much fallen to the wayside, and sleeping in has taken over. I know, I know, not a good idea seeing as I'm just that much more exhausted when I go to work.

It's a vicious cycle really. I can't stop myself from falling asleep, sleeping in, almost being late for work, drinking 2-4 cups of coffee (with my reusable mug so it's really more like 4-8 cups of coffee) and shuffling through the day.

I need to boost myself up and force myself to stay awake, but it's sooo hard...

I will retry to restart my yoga routine this week, starting Monday.

Wish me luck!

Hypocrasy or baby steps?

Spoke with my fiancee yesterday, we've been having more disagreements than usual, mostly due to her trying to quit smoking. She mentioned how she thought it was hypocritical of me to be preaching about buying humane, organic meats, and yet still have tons of clothes and love shopping.

I know I'm not perfect, I admit that I am materialistic, but I do try. I try to do my best, and sometimes I make mistakes. She has an all-or-nothing attitude, and I think that shows through a lot when we talk about the environment. I however try to look at it as baby-steps and accepting that no one will ever be perfect.

In a world where it has gone so far, this disposable lifestyle that the world is so accustomed to and so attached to, baby steps is the most viable way of trying to change that. I avoid plastic as much as possible, I'm cutting down on my meat consumption (again), I buy as much as I can second hand, we recycle, I try to find ways to reuse the stuff we have before chucking it. That's more than a lot of people do, that is what I'm proud of.

Personal revisitation of yoga

The child, Emily, was home sick today, so I also stayed home from work. She has some sort of stomach flu, and it is likely due to the fact that she doesn't let herself sleep.

This aside, I took time today while she was sleeping to revisit yoga. I had tried it many years ago, and could not slow myself down enough to enjoy it. Now that I have matured and begun paying attention to the pace I live my life at, I am able to step back and enjoy this simple activity of self-actualization. I thoroughly enjoyed attuning myself with, well, myself.

I watched and participated in Intimate Yoga (which played on channel 20 at around 12:30pm on my Rogers cable). Then took a few hours to do other stuff, talk to Emily, do some crocheting. I then decided I wanted more. So I took out my age old VHS tape called "gentle yoga for beginners with Suzanne Deason"

Also gave me a chance to actually use my exercise mat, which has been sitting, rolled up, in the corner for a few months now.

I definitely recommend yoga to anyone who wants or needs to take time out of their day to reassess themselves and to realign their energy.

Yoga tapes and DVD's can be found cheap at secondhand stores, and at the library. There is also tonnes upon tonnes of yoga videos and tips online such as HERE or HERE. Of course, a simple Google search will help you find exactly what you're looking for.

How about you? Any of you already do yoga? Have some favourite types or preferred poses? Have questions about the different types? Let your thoughts out here.

Unchanges

Eugh, long day. Got my performance review today, took 2 hours. How disappointing to think that I tried hard to work on it, but just don't feel like it's right for me. I try to smile at work and enjoy my time, but it's just so stressful sometimes, and not my idea of a great job. The only reason I'm still there is because I haven't found a better job yet. They say I'm great with people, and great with my co-workers, but I don't have a "management" qualities, and I don't manage the people well. Whatever.

I'm completely exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally. I don't even know why I'm still awake. But I think I need to put my clothes away, because they're bothering the crap out of me.